Finally here to mouth out the current situations I faced for
life!
Well, talking about graduations, felt like so old-school cuz
it was just 7 months ago 😊 better talk about the latest stuff on what I
do in day to day basis now! So, mentioned that rihanna’s song is “werk-werk-werk”.
W-O-R-K, how to explain them into phrases?
been working in one of that hypest Startup Fintech Co. nowadays peeps could know, well, I feel so extremely amazing for every morning, just because I could start my routine at 9-10 AM as my office hours is free like the ocean flow :p, no need to exercise at the crack of the dawn just to get prepared for all the morning routines before office. And of course, clicked into that prayers time 😉 hence, I could having additional deep sleep for the next 3 Hours HAHA
been working in one of that hypest Startup Fintech Co. nowadays peeps could know, well, I feel so extremely amazing for every morning, just because I could start my routine at 9-10 AM as my office hours is free like the ocean flow :p, no need to exercise at the crack of the dawn just to get prepared for all the morning routines before office. And of course, clicked into that prayers time 😉 hence, I could having additional deep sleep for the next 3 Hours HAHA
Here is the case, working
I have that two different condition with myself : when I feel too energized for everything that would drive me to those crazy productivity, or the condition when I was being like a couch potato with my gadget (and this stick to me like 89% for everyday hehe) ever since I’m done with my college, especially, my thesis (yass, I’m done with you!)
God always knows me so well, that I’m not a morning person at all, I could spent my whole day only for sleeping and tangled into phone stared for nothing that could never enhance my brain nor make it more into a brilliant one,
So, having my current job was like my lucky charm truthly 80% worked, you can say I was the laziest person on earth in a job hunting, cuz my brain keep telling me : “erin, you don’t have to go working, you need vacations more” LOL
I have that two different condition with myself : when I feel too energized for everything that would drive me to those crazy productivity, or the condition when I was being like a couch potato with my gadget (and this stick to me like 89% for everyday hehe) ever since I’m done with my college, especially, my thesis (yass, I’m done with you!)
God always knows me so well, that I’m not a morning person at all, I could spent my whole day only for sleeping and tangled into phone stared for nothing that could never enhance my brain nor make it more into a brilliant one,
So, having my current job was like my lucky charm truthly 80% worked, you can say I was the laziest person on earth in a job hunting, cuz my brain keep telling me : “erin, you don’t have to go working, you need vacations more” LOL
The Startup Fintech Co.
First time dealing with startup, I might heard out there, start up company is something could make your life’ career more crucial because the load of the jobs, the hours of the office, the culture of the company, the environment that always labeled as “fun”, the cool facilities that stick to the “kids jaman now”, more over into the most up to date things, and the “you-could-wear-anything-to-office” even your pajamas, or short, well ofc not for those panties *shy face*
after working?
they are all true, but in some reasons, not all in a “fun way”.
My Co. working hours was free, normally starts 9 AM to 8 hours to go, so, no matter what time you came over, you just have to work 8 hours and go home. I could wear pajamas if I love to, there are several facilities, sports like Zumba, futsal, basketball, table tennis, billiard, or more into entertainment like karaoke, and playstation in the gaming room, the office’ interior design feels like as fresh as it can.
First time dealing with startup, I might heard out there, start up company is something could make your life’ career more crucial because the load of the jobs, the hours of the office, the culture of the company, the environment that always labeled as “fun”, the cool facilities that stick to the “kids jaman now”, more over into the most up to date things, and the “you-could-wear-anything-to-office” even your pajamas, or short, well ofc not for those panties *shy face*
after working?
they are all true, but in some reasons, not all in a “fun way”.
My Co. working hours was free, normally starts 9 AM to 8 hours to go, so, no matter what time you came over, you just have to work 8 hours and go home. I could wear pajamas if I love to, there are several facilities, sports like Zumba, futsal, basketball, table tennis, billiard, or more into entertainment like karaoke, and playstation in the gaming room, the office’ interior design feels like as fresh as it can.
My Self
What happened in my life lately these months was amazing, I couldn’t tell, I learn lots, out of the job things, more into self control and my self esteem. Working in general just hard, the Co. teach us to do everything independently, the culture I can not say :’), I didn’t work under pressure, but not in comfortable level to stay too , it just zero (0), not even -1, or even 1, it’s 0 and that’s it.
Currently working as financial control staff, and trust me :’) this is not something I really passionate with, nor something likeable, my grade was just ‘fine’ in finance during college, I don’t how to say it, but my previous job was in finance, and thesis all about finance too, and now working in the same field, I just got trapped lol, but still keep being strong, facing the storm, can you mentioned how cool am I? right? Doing things I might don’t like tho, 😉
these 5 months feeling like another inner life’ therapy but in gymnastic way, It’s all came to patient, and controlling my emotions, just like you did when you gotta be workout in the very beginning, but then all the things you’re doing is only having snapchat and selfies with bestie instead of a real wave workout 😉 it was hard, hard to start, hard to sweat, hard to moves your legs, your hips, your belly, hell.. your muscles. That what I got, gymnastic therapy for my emotions, my self control. So tough :”)
What happened in my life lately these months was amazing, I couldn’t tell, I learn lots, out of the job things, more into self control and my self esteem. Working in general just hard, the Co. teach us to do everything independently, the culture I can not say :’), I didn’t work under pressure, but not in comfortable level to stay too , it just zero (0), not even -1, or even 1, it’s 0 and that’s it.
Currently working as financial control staff, and trust me :’) this is not something I really passionate with, nor something likeable, my grade was just ‘fine’ in finance during college, I don’t how to say it, but my previous job was in finance, and thesis all about finance too, and now working in the same field, I just got trapped lol, but still keep being strong, facing the storm, can you mentioned how cool am I? right? Doing things I might don’t like tho, 😉
these 5 months feeling like another inner life’ therapy but in gymnastic way, It’s all came to patient, and controlling my emotions, just like you did when you gotta be workout in the very beginning, but then all the things you’re doing is only having snapchat and selfies with bestie instead of a real wave workout 😉 it was hard, hard to start, hard to sweat, hard to moves your legs, your hips, your belly, hell.. your muscles. That what I got, gymnastic therapy for my emotions, my self control. So tough :”)
Dealing with the other horoscopes
As it comes to workplace, we’ll often biased towards meeting new people, new environment, new skills to be adapted, new in everything, me, myself really got no idea of what type or character I will meet in the nu office, there were stranger at the first, and still doing their role perfectly until today :’)
I cried rivers on my first week,
repeating myself as over thinker and over sensitive one, it is always tearing me apart, and blaming at self of why I was being like hell, too overreacted on everything.
and it was beyond stressful trying to keep my head above water, we all have those moments- when it seems that everything that could go wrong is going wrong? It happened to me like EVERY WEEK, and when it came to this, I’ve been keeping myself busy for an inner fight between the emotions and brain, when emotions always win :’)
It’s in moments like that when the phrase ‘when it rains it pours’ really rings true.
what happened actually? The jobs load, were so basic, I mean like hey? You are working and you have to deal with the jobs and everybody does, but the social life reached that New York city level, “who are you, I don’t care”
so here I am trying to comfort myself with those high leadership character, along the aries-es, the workaholic, all I could do when my feelings get piqued was : I’d rather running to the toilet and crying in a very safe soft sound I could ever done. I’m dying inside.
As it comes to workplace, we’ll often biased towards meeting new people, new environment, new skills to be adapted, new in everything, me, myself really got no idea of what type or character I will meet in the nu office, there were stranger at the first, and still doing their role perfectly until today :’)
I cried rivers on my first week,
repeating myself as over thinker and over sensitive one, it is always tearing me apart, and blaming at self of why I was being like hell, too overreacted on everything.
and it was beyond stressful trying to keep my head above water, we all have those moments- when it seems that everything that could go wrong is going wrong? It happened to me like EVERY WEEK, and when it came to this, I’ve been keeping myself busy for an inner fight between the emotions and brain, when emotions always win :’)
It’s in moments like that when the phrase ‘when it rains it pours’ really rings true.
what happened actually? The jobs load, were so basic, I mean like hey? You are working and you have to deal with the jobs and everybody does, but the social life reached that New York city level, “who are you, I don’t care”
so here I am trying to comfort myself with those high leadership character, along the aries-es, the workaholic, all I could do when my feelings get piqued was : I’d rather running to the toilet and crying in a very safe soft sound I could ever done. I’m dying inside.
The Lemons of Life
I’ve been working in the previous company, and they’ve became that sweet and welcome like the first bite of watermelon you got in summer, I think that’s why every workers need to find the right environment to work and jump in, well of course money always take the first place. After working, I found my self daunting more about how could I attain on making friends in the office’s life? I just can’t, and don’t know how to start, cuz every single time I tried, I failed in the halfway, it’s just too way different and really don’t how to deal with it, I’m drowning into stresses.
FYI, making no friends is the first thing I’d wrote down if that “to DO NOT list” exist. I love to meet new people, chit-chat just like those extrovert pro did, gossiping over the trending topic, and do everything with friends, I love making friends, and having no friends is something I really scared the most in the world. But this happened, am not even stick to anyone yet, but why? And how come? I hate it to be true.
Moreover, there were many traumatic moments I faced in the very beginning 2018, I deal with my eyes which finally approached that high level in nearsightedness (myopia), I’m using glasses since I was a kid, and now it makes me stress for sure, I need to flight home just to make my self a calm, cause I was crying over night when I heard the news.
The next month? been too worried with my healthiness, I think too much, crossing that normal standard of worriedness that would drive you to the position like hell crazy people who knows their age gonna be ended soon.
And then, my career keep questioning me from time to time, “how if you’re no longer needed in the Co? what will you do?”, “is it really something you wanna do for years?”, “is it really something you passionate with?”, or “is it the right purest money you’ll feed on your life? Your family?” I’m always haunted T.T
The most serious stage, marriage, well hello I’m still 23, but my brain can not stop talking about bridal things and the budget need to be prepared, gosh I’m dying
I’ve been working in the previous company, and they’ve became that sweet and welcome like the first bite of watermelon you got in summer, I think that’s why every workers need to find the right environment to work and jump in, well of course money always take the first place. After working, I found my self daunting more about how could I attain on making friends in the office’s life? I just can’t, and don’t know how to start, cuz every single time I tried, I failed in the halfway, it’s just too way different and really don’t how to deal with it, I’m drowning into stresses.
FYI, making no friends is the first thing I’d wrote down if that “to DO NOT list” exist. I love to meet new people, chit-chat just like those extrovert pro did, gossiping over the trending topic, and do everything with friends, I love making friends, and having no friends is something I really scared the most in the world. But this happened, am not even stick to anyone yet, but why? And how come? I hate it to be true.
Moreover, there were many traumatic moments I faced in the very beginning 2018, I deal with my eyes which finally approached that high level in nearsightedness (myopia), I’m using glasses since I was a kid, and now it makes me stress for sure, I need to flight home just to make my self a calm, cause I was crying over night when I heard the news.
The next month? been too worried with my healthiness, I think too much, crossing that normal standard of worriedness that would drive you to the position like hell crazy people who knows their age gonna be ended soon.
And then, my career keep questioning me from time to time, “how if you’re no longer needed in the Co? what will you do?”, “is it really something you wanna do for years?”, “is it really something you passionate with?”, or “is it the right purest money you’ll feed on your life? Your family?” I’m always haunted T.T
The most serious stage, marriage, well hello I’m still 23, but my brain can not stop talking about bridal things and the budget need to be prepared, gosh I’m dying
Squeeze it and make your lemonade, or a lemon squash?!
Many of us likely harbor a degree of envy for the jet-set of the world, all the glamor of the universe, and “rumput tetangga selalu lebih hijau” thing never rings so wrong. It is all so fit in, we often be so oriented towards the things what society thinks so true, and in too much expectation of our goals of life, somehow it is good, but for some reasons it might act like the needle in the straw, so be rational and think wiser towards everything done and planned, even you’re in the worst situation you need to make everything clear, but, being able to shake it off and figure it out seems a lot easier said than done, right?
So what else can I do? There’s no like a Friday evening catch up with your bestfriend to remind that it’s all going to be okay, biweekly meeting up with bestie felt just so essential in the middle of the buzz that make it hard to find time to relax and recharge, you’ll never could living alone, we’re a social human being that created so perfectly by god, so hang out with your best, and you’ll find out your pressure gone little by little. It thoughtful way to be in touch and you’ll even be amazed by how these types of small gesture make you, Cuz when I do, it happened.
Blessed the Lemons
Getting over all the complains and all the pressure I’ve mentioned above made me turned blue all long day. When I asked and shared it to my boyfriend, he just blamed me back, but how come?
here is the case, as I fondly remember the past couple weeks I overstressed myself, I’ve came up with that same list of those negative thoughts the next time I turned blue, there’s nothing changed, and none I learnt from the past, I cried all the way walking home (yes, all along the road, or even any transportation I give myself a ride to bring me home) I can’t even remember when I turned into this too over melancholy, gosh. When I feel so screwed up, I need to heal that out by a quick catch up with bestie and always feel better cuz we do celebrate exciting milestone & support each other through those traumatic events.
It is just so basic, when I’m down, I need to make it out by meeting with friends, feeling better, but the next day, when I get gloomy, I poured rain for days, again, and blame myself, blame everything, it cyclic, and nothing change, that finally when I told boyfriend for the next time I turned blue, he was getting enough: “you could never control yourself, you’re always right, I am not in the mood having any kind of arguments with you, you always make defense” I’M FREEZED :’ suddenly
another thing that he pointed out is “why you never be blessed for everything happened? And always complain this and that, rin?” I was just quiet, and then thinking, he was extremely true, like bloody hell why am I not even be blessed for what I had now.
In every step of life, there’s always a need for corrections, and my correction came to this of why I never realized: I might a lucky one on earth, but never feel blessed of it.
Many of us likely harbor a degree of envy for the jet-set of the world, all the glamor of the universe, and “rumput tetangga selalu lebih hijau” thing never rings so wrong. It is all so fit in, we often be so oriented towards the things what society thinks so true, and in too much expectation of our goals of life, somehow it is good, but for some reasons it might act like the needle in the straw, so be rational and think wiser towards everything done and planned, even you’re in the worst situation you need to make everything clear, but, being able to shake it off and figure it out seems a lot easier said than done, right?
So what else can I do? There’s no like a Friday evening catch up with your bestfriend to remind that it’s all going to be okay, biweekly meeting up with bestie felt just so essential in the middle of the buzz that make it hard to find time to relax and recharge, you’ll never could living alone, we’re a social human being that created so perfectly by god, so hang out with your best, and you’ll find out your pressure gone little by little. It thoughtful way to be in touch and you’ll even be amazed by how these types of small gesture make you, Cuz when I do, it happened.
Blessed the Lemons
Getting over all the complains and all the pressure I’ve mentioned above made me turned blue all long day. When I asked and shared it to my boyfriend, he just blamed me back, but how come?
here is the case, as I fondly remember the past couple weeks I overstressed myself, I’ve came up with that same list of those negative thoughts the next time I turned blue, there’s nothing changed, and none I learnt from the past, I cried all the way walking home (yes, all along the road, or even any transportation I give myself a ride to bring me home) I can’t even remember when I turned into this too over melancholy, gosh. When I feel so screwed up, I need to heal that out by a quick catch up with bestie and always feel better cuz we do celebrate exciting milestone & support each other through those traumatic events.
It is just so basic, when I’m down, I need to make it out by meeting with friends, feeling better, but the next day, when I get gloomy, I poured rain for days, again, and blame myself, blame everything, it cyclic, and nothing change, that finally when I told boyfriend for the next time I turned blue, he was getting enough: “you could never control yourself, you’re always right, I am not in the mood having any kind of arguments with you, you always make defense” I’M FREEZED :’ suddenly
another thing that he pointed out is “why you never be blessed for everything happened? And always complain this and that, rin?” I was just quiet, and then thinking, he was extremely true, like bloody hell why am I not even be blessed for what I had now.
In every step of life, there’s always a need for corrections, and my correction came to this of why I never realized: I might a lucky one on earth, but never feel blessed of it.
So, I thank to God for what I have now,
We all deal with stress differently, when it happened, please remember everything is magically handled by God to make you into somebody, it’s the process, so be thankful, like how could you still be in touch with bestie in the extra busy week, how could you make your own money, how could you still have your family calls, who can comfort you with a single hug, to all people who knows your quirks and still love you, for your breath, your health, for everything that not even human can give, only God.
So, keep be blessed, blessing, blessing, blessing, for the lemons of your life, you have it cuz God is remembering you, be blessed and chill <3 cheers!
We all deal with stress differently, when it happened, please remember everything is magically handled by God to make you into somebody, it’s the process, so be thankful, like how could you still be in touch with bestie in the extra busy week, how could you make your own money, how could you still have your family calls, who can comfort you with a single hug, to all people who knows your quirks and still love you, for your breath, your health, for everything that not even human can give, only God.
So, keep be blessed, blessing, blessing, blessing, for the lemons of your life, you have it cuz God is remembering you, be blessed and chill <3 cheers!
No comments:
Post a Comment